Synopsising Again

I've been working on my synopsis for Faith of the Four and One. I have it keyed into the computer now where I can shift lines and delete words and still keep the original intact until I have the final completed.

I've gotten down from three full pages to just over two pages, but I'm still holding at 760 words. That means I have to shave off another 260 words. I'm sure I can, since the current draft is just a tightening of the plot, not of the synopsis itself.

I'm still not happy with the tone, though. I does read much less like a bad romance story, which the first short draft sounded like, but it still doesn't quite capture the essence of the plot's impact on the world around the characters. And, sadly, Liliane still reads like a bad romance heroine, all sighs and confusion and letting the big strong men take the lead. She needs to grow a stiffer backbone earlier in the story, and I need to show that growth earlier in the synopsis.

But I'm happy with my progress, considering this is just the third time I've worked with the synopsis. I think two more times and I might have it. And then I can get on to editing the excerpt, which will be a whole nother beast. The beginning, I've decided, just has to go. Needs a completely new beginning, something that shows Liliane off as thoughtful, yet fearful, but still resilient and daring, with just a hint of innocence and naivete.

That's going to be a fun rewrite, I think.