Friday, July 12, 2013

If I had a choice

If I had a choice, I would quit my day job right now.

Not because I want more time to write, though I do.
Not because I believe I can make a living at this, though I do.

Actually, I think I *do* have a choice, but common sense requires me to wait, though I think we could stay afloat if I quit my day job.

Two words.

Health insurance.

Crunching the numbers, I think I could compensate for the loss of health insurance, but I would give up more than just those benefits. Right now I could probably quit and break even. I'd like to do better than that. I don't want to leave the benefits and security behind just because I think I could get by without them on my own.

I'd like to be ahead of the game, with a big financial cushion in case things go wrong. I want, instead of leaping off the cliff and having faith in myself, to do what I did when I learned how to paraglide.

I want to inflate my paragliding wing, look up into that glory of color and engineering, and run, and leap, knowing I will fly, and that I've done everything in my power to save myself in case that beautiful creation starts to collapse and the winds of fate spin me around and drop me toward the unforgiving earth. It's not just a matter of being responsible, or playing it safe. It's a matter of exercising patience, and trusting that however sweet quitting my day job today might be, that leaving my safety net behind when I'm truly ready will be not just be a step closer to freedom, but will be the first step into actual and real freedom. Going out without the financial support of a steady paycheck right now is do-able. Moving forward without the financial support of a steady paycheck in the future will be the right thing to do.